I have not contributed to the blog for almost a year. But I did not regret.. Who dictates that we need to write blog so often? This is my blog and I will write it as and when I like.
Excuses.
Well, as usual, I have thought of coming in to pen down my thoughts. I will just leave what is past to the past and concentrate on the present.
In a few days time, I will be attending the graduation ceremony, wearing the gown with the mortarboard. The owl's attire as I used to joke about. And I will officially announce to the world that I am a graduate!
C'mon.. This is just the beginning of your working life. What is so great about it?
It is true. In a few days time, I will have to go to work early in the morning and return late at night. I will be looking forward to the weekend every week and hope that the pay day will come soon. A typical working adult life. Why should I be happy about graduating? In fact, I will be facing the reality of life soon.
Nevertheless, I think it is time for me to experience the world, after 16 years of education. I have been sheltered in school, doing projects imitating the real world scenarios, presenting to the professors and fellow classmates instead of real bosses and customers, mugging for examinations with study break instead of having to mug and deliver business results at the same time. How exciting it can be to see the real world finally! Isn't this the objective of getting the degree?
I can feel that something is going to change my life.. again. It is something that I have experienced just before my NS enlistment and before entering into SMU. Yet it is so remotely different. Heard someone said before that this is another leap in our life, a very big leap indeed.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Monday, August 04, 2008
Random thoughts
Went to one of the annual hungry ghost festival dinner tonight with my parents. Quite reluctant to go at first, but went after considering that it would be a decent dinner for me.
Not many young people around.. This is usually the case now.. The participants are usually aunties and uncles (My parents generation). I have no topics to talk with them and I am very amazed that they are able to pick up conversations easily even though they might not meet one another before. Their topics would revolve around "Anybody still around?" and things like that... and their conclusion would usually be "How long will we live is all predestined?"
I did not pay much attention to this hypothesis that they have made because nobody can prove whether this statement is true. But I have thought of a Chinese saying which goes, you never bring anything when you are born and you will not bring anything with you when you are dead.. If this statement is true, do we need to be so uptight by things such as wealth, authority and career aspirations? Can we bring them into the grave with us?...
Not many young people around.. This is usually the case now.. The participants are usually aunties and uncles (My parents generation). I have no topics to talk with them and I am very amazed that they are able to pick up conversations easily even though they might not meet one another before. Their topics would revolve around "Anybody still around?" and things like that... and their conclusion would usually be "How long will we live is all predestined?"
I did not pay much attention to this hypothesis that they have made because nobody can prove whether this statement is true. But I have thought of a Chinese saying which goes, you never bring anything when you are born and you will not bring anything with you when you are dead.. If this statement is true, do we need to be so uptight by things such as wealth, authority and career aspirations? Can we bring them into the grave with us?...
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Trapped in expectations
About ten years ago, I was told from a teacher that I need to be more confident to succeed in life. Five years ago, I was told by my army buddy that I can be more arrogant so that I can overcome any challenges. Few years ago, a professor has asked me to be more confident so that I can present better..
Their advices are good and I have gained a lot of achievements. Can do fairly well in studies, overcome obstacles in army and do what I want to do. I would not say I am a very confident person, but I can say that it can tide me through most of the obstacles so far in life. However, my expectations of myself have also increased tremendously, to a point where I might collapse if I ever hit a setback. And indeed, I am...
I was quite depressed yesterday. Too many things have happened and I realized that I am unable to meet the expectations that I have set for myself. I was pessimistic, feeling weak, tired and bleak of the future. I tried to ask myself, why am I in such deep shit now? Why I could not just set average expectation like anyone else and live normally? Didn't I have told myself that I would want to live like a normal person a few months back?
After much thinking, I realized that I have been living to the expectation of other people. What other people believe I can do, I will go for it. I do not know what I want to have in my life. I am concerned of what other people expect of me and I would set a higher expectation of myself. She was right, to say that I have been running fast and I have been pushing myself to run even faster. Eventually, I would collapse. She reminded me that it is a blessing to lead a normal life yesterday, which I have forgotten while I am in this rat race. Yes indeed.. that is what I need. But if I stop now, i might lose everything that I have.. To let go or not to let go.
Watched a clip on some moral story on why monkeys are being trapped. The hunter placed a few bottles with rice such that the neck is just nice for a monkey to put in its hand. That night, many monkeys came and tried to take the rice. They put in their hands and grabbed the rice. However, they were not able to remove their hand from the bottle if they grab the rice. In the end many of the monkeys are stuck. Only a few monkeys are clever enough to let go of the rice and escape from the trap. Am I the monkey now in this scenario?
A senior told me once.. I am strong in materialistic sense but I am weak spiritually.. Spiritual in the sense that I can control what I want... even to let go when I am about to achieve the goal. I would lead a happy life if I am able to achieve such balance.
"Don't need to live up to others expectations. The first thing to overcome it is to overcome yourself. If you can't manage yourself, you cannot manage others.." I will remember her words...
Their advices are good and I have gained a lot of achievements. Can do fairly well in studies, overcome obstacles in army and do what I want to do. I would not say I am a very confident person, but I can say that it can tide me through most of the obstacles so far in life. However, my expectations of myself have also increased tremendously, to a point where I might collapse if I ever hit a setback. And indeed, I am...
I was quite depressed yesterday. Too many things have happened and I realized that I am unable to meet the expectations that I have set for myself. I was pessimistic, feeling weak, tired and bleak of the future. I tried to ask myself, why am I in such deep shit now? Why I could not just set average expectation like anyone else and live normally? Didn't I have told myself that I would want to live like a normal person a few months back?
After much thinking, I realized that I have been living to the expectation of other people. What other people believe I can do, I will go for it. I do not know what I want to have in my life. I am concerned of what other people expect of me and I would set a higher expectation of myself. She was right, to say that I have been running fast and I have been pushing myself to run even faster. Eventually, I would collapse. She reminded me that it is a blessing to lead a normal life yesterday, which I have forgotten while I am in this rat race. Yes indeed.. that is what I need. But if I stop now, i might lose everything that I have.. To let go or not to let go.
Watched a clip on some moral story on why monkeys are being trapped. The hunter placed a few bottles with rice such that the neck is just nice for a monkey to put in its hand. That night, many monkeys came and tried to take the rice. They put in their hands and grabbed the rice. However, they were not able to remove their hand from the bottle if they grab the rice. In the end many of the monkeys are stuck. Only a few monkeys are clever enough to let go of the rice and escape from the trap. Am I the monkey now in this scenario?
A senior told me once.. I am strong in materialistic sense but I am weak spiritually.. Spiritual in the sense that I can control what I want... even to let go when I am about to achieve the goal. I would lead a happy life if I am able to achieve such balance.
"Don't need to live up to others expectations. The first thing to overcome it is to overcome yourself. If you can't manage yourself, you cannot manage others.." I will remember her words...
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